


Two Roads Diverged

by sunkelles



Series: Femslash February 2016 [12]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe- Role reversal, And there's canon Rey, Dark Side! Rey, Dark! Rey, Dimension Travel, F/F, Femslash, Femslash February, First Order! Rey, Hints of finnrey, Kimiya Ren, Knight of Ren! Rey, Light Side! Kylo Ren, Meeting Your Alternate, Not made explicit but heavily hinted at, Who has an identity crisis, hand holding, selfcest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-24
Updated: 2016-02-24
Packaged: 2018-05-18 16:26:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5935042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunkelles/pseuds/sunkelles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rey finds herself in a different world with a different version of herself, and Kimiya Ren reflects on the person she could have been.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Two Roads Diverged

**Author's Note:**

> Firstly, an anon on tumblr asked me to write Rey/Rey for femslash february and then this sort of happened. Originally, it was going to be sort of weird hate sex but then this happened instead??? (it drifts into kylo sympathizing territory and vaguely echoes what i assume reylo shipping is like, so those are some warnings. proceed with caution) 
> 
> This Rey is from an AU I may or may not end up finishing. A few details of it  
> 1\. His name is Ben Organa because I like it and you can’t stop me.  
> 2\. Ben never turned to the dark side, and Snoke had to scour the galaxy for an apprentice, eventually finding Rey, a lonely seven year old on Jakku who is much more impressionable.  
> 3\. If you’re interested in the details of that AU, go ahead and send me an ask at disregardcanon.tumblr.com and i’d love to talk about it! it’s finnrey because I love that ship so much. 
> 
> Another note: Rey from our universe will be referred to as Rey while dark side! Rey will be referred to as Kimiya Ren. that is all

Meditation, Kimiya has been told, is a tranquil, relaxing experience. Kimiya, in her eleven years as Snoke’s apprentice, and nine years as a knight of Ren in the First Order, has never been able to meditate for more than half an hour. She wouldn’t really know one way or another. This particular time, it is Captain Phasma who interrupts her. She stands tall, silvery and shiny as always, and Kimiya sighs. She had hoped to actually get to meditate this time.

 

“Lady Ren,” Captain Phasma says.

“Yes, Captain?” she asks, already annoyed by the interruption.

“My troopers brought in a prisoner I thought might interest you,” she says.

“Why do you think that I would be interested in a prisoner?” Kimiya demands of Captain Phasma.

“She is a Jedi,” the Captain says simply. Kimiya pushes herself to her feet immediately, and grabs her helmet off of her bed. She slips it on quickly. It is important Order propaganda to have its fighters constantly masked in public. It gives the Order an air of mystery, prestige, and intimidation. Or at least that’s what the Supreme Leader says. She stopped questioning the Supreme Leader’s decisions after her first dose of force lightning.

“Take me to her, captain,” Kimiya orders. They walk through the bland, metal corridors of the ship until they finally reach the cells.

“She’s in cell F89, ma’am,” the captain tells her.

“Thank you, captain,” Kimiya says, feeling something that might be actual gratitude. Kimiya steps into the cell, and catches her first glimpse of the prisoner. She is not only a Jedi, but she has Kimiya’s face. Kimiya’s breath hitches in her throat.

I’m really hot, she thinks before she can stop herself. She pushes the thought away a moment later.

“Leave us,” Kimiya orders. Captain Phasma leaves the room without another word. Kimiya closes part of the gap between them, walking towards the chair the prisoner with her face is strapped to. Kimiya is surprisingly relieved when she notices that the girl is unharmed. Hux’s interrogators have not gotten to her yet. Kimiya will have the honor of prying whatever information she has out of her, and hopefully will not have to stoop to such needlessly violent means.

“Who are you?” the girl demands.

“I don’t think you’re in any position to be making demands,” Kimiya says, a hint of amusement in her tone. If nothing else, it will be interesting to speak to this girl. And Kimiya must admit, she enjoys looking at herself. Though, it’s less like looking in a mirror and more like gazing into an alternate reality. The woman is still wearing clothes befitting a desert scavenger. Kimiya wonders if the girl ever left Jakku.

“Who are you?” the girl demands, ever defiant. Kimiya thinks it over for a moment. She doesn't if she really wants to give the girl the information, but decides to humor her anyway.

“I am Kimiya,” she says, “leader of the knights of Ren.” The girl seems to make a connection when she mentions the Knights of Ren.

“What do you want with me?” the girl asks.

“I gave you my name,” Kimiya says, “shouldn’t you give me yours? It’s only polite.” There’s a hint of a threat in her words, because though Kimiya would prefer the girl give it to her willingly, she’s more than capable of taking it.

“Rey,” the girl nearly spits. Kimiya feels her breath hitch. She hasn’t heard that name in a long time. No one has called her Rey since Snoke insisted that she take the name Kimiya Ren at age eight. It’s been eleven years now. Kimiya supposes that she should not be surprised to hear it, but she was not entirely convinced that this girl was really an alternate version of herself. She supposes there isn’t much doubt now.

“What do you want with me?” Rey asks.

“I find you intriguing,” Kimiya says. Rey laughs at that, a little bit bitter and a little bit hysterical. She seems a little bit afraid, but also a little bit… comfortable? Like she’s been in a similar situation before. Like she ended up escaping it mainly unharmed.

“I’m glad you find me amusing,” she mutters. Kimiya laughs at that, and it sounds mechanical through her helmet.

She asks, “Where did you come from?” Rey doesn’t answer her, and doesn’t seem like she’s going to any time soon.

“I’d find you more amusing if you talked,” Kimiya says.

“I’d be more likely to talk if you took off the mask,” Rey spits the last word like a curse. Kimiya wonders what past experience gave her such a disdain for masks, but she doesn’t just take the information from Rey’s mind. She does not want to enter her mind yet. She doesn’t have to let Rey know this, though. She would prefer to scare her into submission.

“I would prefer not to do this the hard way,” Kimiya drawls. Judging by the look that passes over the girl’s face, she is familiar with the hard way doesn’t want it to come to that.

“I will cooperate,” the girl says, and Kimiya’s lips curl into a premature smile, “If you remove the mask. And the restraints.”

“You’re not in any position to be making demands,” Kimiya reminds her.

“And you could do this the hard way,” Rey says with the ghost of a smirk. Rey called her bluff, and Kimiya begrudgingly meets the girl’s demands. She removes her mask. She supposes that she has held her trump card close to her heart for long enough. Perhaps the girl will be more inclined to speak to her frankly when she realizes they are likely the same person.

Kimiya lies the helmet on the table, and her hair falls around her face. She pops Rey’s restraints with the force, and the girl immediately takes advantage of her free hands. She points hesitantly at Kimiya.

“You,” the girl says, awestruck and terrified “you’re me.”

“Yes,” Kimiya says, a smirk crawling across her lips, “I’ve noticed.”

“But you’re,” the girl says, “you’re with the First Order.”

“I am aware,” Kimiya says, and she smirks a little bit, “I take it that you’re not?”

“No,” she says, sounding insulted by the implication.

“Are you with the Resistance?” Kimiya asks, casually. The other girl sends her a skeptical look. Her dark hair is done up on a style that would only be seen as practical or stylish on Jakku. Kimiya wonders how long this girl was stuck in that sandy hell.

“What if I said yes?” Rey asks.

“I’d ask why,” Kimiya says, “ask how.” Rey takes a deep breath, and tries to calm herself. She seems frustrated and confused, even a little bit angry. She seems shocked at the idea that a girl who wears her face fights for the Order. She takes a deep breath, and changes the topic completely.

“Are we the same person?” Rey asks.

“I think so,” Kimiya says, “or at least, different versions of the same person.”

“What do you mean?” Rey asks hesitantly.

“I would guess that you are from a different world,” Kimiya says, “I doubt if there were two Force Sensitive little girls on Jakku.”

“This is so freaky,” Rey says, “one moment I’m meditating… then I’m in the middle of a battle.”

“There are some legends,” Kimiya says, “ancient, long-forgotten stories about force users losing themselves during meditation, and then finding themselves in other worlds, ones where history played out much differently.”

“So,” Rey says, cautiously, “you’re saying that I accidentally traveled here in meditation?”  
“It’s only a suggestion,” Kimiya says, though she's nearly positive that her theory is correct.

“And that,” Rey says, pausing a moment to collect her thoughts, “that if things had gone differently in my world, it could have ended up like this?” Rey says the word with disgust, and Kimiya doesn’t have to invade the other girl’s mind to figure out what she means by it. Rey has realized that she could have ended up just like Kimiya, had things gone differently. She wouldn’t have been whatever hero of the Resistance she is, wouldn’t be a Jedi. She’d be just like Kimiya.

Kimiya is not sure if she finds the thought reassuring or horrifying. She’s not sure if she would wish her life on anyone.

“Perhaps,” Kimiya suggests, “and perhaps not. I think that the only way to find out would be to compare notes.”

“What?” Rey asks, sounding confused and a little bit angry.

“You tell me about your world,” Kimiya says, “And then I will tell you about mine.”

“Alright,” Rey says, not sounding entirely excited about the idea.

“I could go first,” Kimiya suggests, though she doesn’t particularly want to. She knows what Rey will think of things that she’s done, and she doesn’t really want her to know them. She doesn’t want the other girl to look at her like a monster, not really. If even her other self does not understand what she’s done, then Kimiya’s not sure that she could continue justifying it.

“No,” Rey says, a smile ghosting across her lips, “I can go first.” Rey glosses over the first nineteen years of her life on Jakku, scavenging for parts to sell for rations. Kimiya’s familiar enough with the routine that she doesn’t need much detail. Things heat up once she starts to tell the tale of a droid with a map to Luke Skywalker of all people, a runaway stormtrooper, and Han Solo. She tells of her capture by another knight of Ren who goes by the name Kylo, and her escape.

“Wait,” Kimiya says, a bright, proud smile spreading across her face, “you got the trooper to let you go? You’d never even used the force before!”

“I don’t know how I did it!” Rey exclaims excitedly, “I just, I had to try it. And it worked.” Kimiya is powerful, but she wonders if even she could do that without training. Rey continues, telling of how she sneaked around the base, and eventually found her rescue party.

“And the stormtrooper came back for you?” Kimiya asks.

“Finn came back for me,” Rey corrects, caressing the name. Rey must care for him, maybe even love him to talk about him in such regard. Kimiya finds herself envious for a moment. She’s never had a friend.

“It turns out,” Rey says, “that.. that Kylo was Han’s son, Ben.”  
“Ben Organa turned?” Kimiya asks in surprise.

“Yes,” Rey says. It takes Rey a moment to realize the implication of the statement.

“Wait,” she asks, “what happened in your world?”

“Snoke tried to turn him, before he found me,” Kimiya says, a little bit bitterly. She’s lived in Ben Organa’s shadow for more than half of her life.

If Ben had turned, Snoke growled at her many a time, he would have gotten this in half the time. Ben Organa was the prize that Snoke had always wanted. Kimiya was the one he had to settle for.

“He didn’t succeed?” Rey asks.

“No,” Kimiya says, chuckling the whole time, “Organa’s as light as they come.” Kimiya knows that she should have killed him way back when she raided the Jedi temple. She should have stuck her lightsaber through him and been done with it, but she couldn’t. She’d already knocked him unconscious, and he was no longer any threat. No matter what a thorn in her side he’s been, and no matter how much grief Snoke has given her over it, she can’t regret leaving him.

“What did your Organa do then?” Kimiya asks, “He had his father out on that bridge. What happened next?”

“He stabbed him in the chest,” Rey says, her words sounding strained. Kimiya can tell that she was quite attached to Han. Kimiya doesn’t know what to say, so she says nothing here.

“Then Finn and I ran away,” she says, “we tried to get off the planet before it blew, but Kylo caught us. There was a big fight between the three of us, and he nearly killed Finn. But we got away.”

“What happened afterwards?” Kimiya asks.

“We finished the map,” Rey says, “then I went to train with Master Skywalker.”

“And then ended up here?” Kimiya asks.

“Yeah,” Rey says. There’s an awkward bit of silence, as they both decide what to do.

“So,” Rey finally asks, “what’s your story?”

“It’s not as interesting as yours,” Kimiya admits.

“I gave you my story,” Rey says, “it’s only fair if you give me yours.”

“It starts the same as yours,” Kimiya says, “I spent seven years scavenging on Jakku before the Supreme Leader found me. He wanted to turn Ben Organa, but when he couldn’t, he scoured the galaxy for a different apprentice. He found me instead.”

“Why did you join him?” Rey asks her.

“It was my only option,” Kimiya tells her.

“It wasn’t,” Rey says, “you could have-”

“Said no?” Kimiya demands, “been stranded on Jakku another eleven years, like you?” It doesn’t look like Rey knows what to say to that.

“You could have,” Rey reasserts.

“Would you have been able to?” Kimiya asks, “if you knew it was that or being stranded there forever? If you knew your parents were never coming back?” That seems to strike a nerve.

“They would have come back for you,” Rey tells her.

“Did yours?” Kimiya asks cruelly. Rey’s face falls, and Kimiya realizes that she has gone too far. She pushed too hard, and destroyed the fragile thread of trust that she’d built up. She wonders how much worse it will be once she tells Rey about the temple.

“Rey,” Kimiya asks, “would you have told him no?” Rey bites her lip, and doesn’t speak.

“Would you?”

“I don’t know!” Rey shouts. The lights flicker above them as Rey tries to rein her anger back in. It reminds Kimiya of when she was younger, and just starting to exercise her powers. No matter how powerful Rey is, the girl is still green as grass in some ways.

“I just.. I don’t know,” Rey finally admits. She’s distressed. Kimiya has ripped apart whatever vision Rey had of herself by simply existing, and that’s a hard thing to deal with. It’s going to get even harder when she finishes her story.

“A year and a half into my training,” Kimiya says, “the Supreme Leader decided that the Jedi temple had to be eradicated. It would be a test of my strength and loyalty.”

“Eradicated?” Rey asks, a terrified little tremble in her voice.

“I disposed of the young apprentices,” Kimiya says, trying to keep her voice neutral, detached. She tries to avoid words like _kill_ and _murder_. They make the act seem too real. She uses words like _dispose_ and _get rid of_. They distance her from the act, if only a little bit.

“You killed them,” Rey says, more in realization than anything else.

“Yes,” Kimiya says. Rey looks horrified, but she does not get up from her chair. She doesn’t try to run.

“What happened to Luke?” Rey asks.

“He’s still alive, somewhere,” Kimiya tells her, “he wasn’t there that day. He’d left Organa in charge. Now he’s in exile somewhere.” Luke Skywalker hadn’t been able shoulder the guilt that had been placed upon him, and Kimiya suspects that the Luke that Rey knows felt even guiltier. The person who struck down his apprentices was not some faceless girl from the First Order, but his own nephew.

“Did any of them survive?” Rey asks, still in a horrified haze.

“Organa’s injuries weren’t fatal,” Kimiya says. She doesn’t mention that she intended to leave him alive. She’s not sure if it would gain her any sympathy.

“Holy kriff,” Rey curses, “you killed children.” She sounds disgusted by the very concept, but Kimiya knows why it’s getting to Rey in particular. It’s because if Kimiya could do it, then there’s no reason why Rey couldn’t have.

“We’re the same, you and me,” Kimiya tells her. She’s not sure if she’s saying it to rile the other girl up, or because she wants to believe it. Perhaps it’s a bit of both.

“No,” Rey tells her, face contorting in horror, “we’re not.”

“Are you sure, Rey?” Kimiya asks.

“I haven’t killed children,” Rey spits.

“You would have,” Kimiya asserts, getting dangerously close to Rey’s face.

“I wouldn’t have,” Rey says, but she doesn’t sound so certain anymore.

“You can see it for yourself,” Kimiya offers, “judge me based on my memories.”

“What?” Rey demands.

“Go ahead,” Kimiya offers, “go into my mind.”

Kimiya can feel it all again. She pushed this memory to the back of her mind, and has tried her best to never relive it. She doesn’t fully understand why she is allowing Rey to watch it now, but she supposes it’s because she wants Rey to understand her. She doesn’t want Rey to think of her as a complete monster. But maybe the memory will only cement that belief in Rey’s mind? Kimiya doesn’t know, but she wants Rey to see her for who she is. If there’s anyone in the world who could possibly understand her, it’s this girl. The girl who wears her face, but not her bloodstains and her guilt.

 

Rey enters Kimiya’s mind the way that one would kick down a door.

 

_The memory starts, and Kimiya is nine once again. She’s nursing wounds from her last training session with Snoke, and trying to force the thoughts of the pain out of her mind. He said that he would drop her off on Jakku again if she didn’t do this, send her away and leave you there. No one ever came for her before him, and no one ever will if he were to leave her. Kimiya steels herself as the ship lands near the temple, and ghosts her hand over her lightsaber. The ship shakes as it lands, and Kimiya takes a deep breath. She doesn’t want to do this, but she knows that she must._

_The hangar door opens, and Kimiya catches her first glimpse of the planet. It’s gorgeous. Perfectly green, and the temple was constructed inside an ancient, limestone building. It looks a bit like a castle that Kimiya has to besiege. She passes stormtroopers who are all one to two feet taller than her, and she tries to look intimidating as she walks down the runway. She’s about to destroy a temple. She can’t look like the scarred child that she is._

_The air is cool and crisp, and Kimiya tries to steady her breathing as she finishes the walk to the temple. She can do this. She has no other choice._

_She enters the temple, and tries to steady her breathing yet again. She can do this. The one who’s leading the training session sees her, and comes over to greet her. He’s older than the rest of them by a significant amount. He has curly black hair, a prominent nose, and long limbs that he hasn’t quite grown into. It must be Ben Organa._

_“Hey,” he asks, “are you here to start training?” Kimiya bites her lip and doesn’t answer._

_“What are you doing in a mask anyways?” he continues, “makes you look a bit like Vader.” He chuckles at that, like he’s made a funny joke. Kimiya takes a deep breath, and tries to channel the rage that she’s felt over the years, listening to Snoke rant on and on about Ben Organa. Rey draws her lightsaber, and stabs upwards into his chest. He falls to the ground with a scream. Kimiya doesn’t think that it’s a fatal blow, but she doesn’t think about him after he goes down. She only has so long to catch the others._

_She barely registers it as she strikes them down, meticulously. They’re closer to her size, and she strikes them in ways that she knows will be quick and fatal, nearly painless. She knows that it doesn’t redeem her, but she doesn’t truly want them to suffer. She doesn’t truly even want them to die. When Kimiya is done with the others, she can still sense Ben Organa. She knows that the older boy is still alive, and likely won’t even die because of his injuries. She knows that she should strike him down, should fulfill her master’s orders to the letter. But there’s part of her that doesn’t want to kill anymore, and doesn’t want to kill the boy that smiled at her before she struck him down. Kimiya steps over his still breathing body, and leaves the temple feeling bloody and guilty and awful. But at least it’s slightly less so than it could have been._

Rey pulls out of her mind after that, and Kimiya gasps as they’re pulled out of the memory. She’d lost herself in it, allowed herself to be fully immersed in it. She doesn’t care to do that again.

“You were nine,” Rey whispers.

“Yes, I was,” Kimiya says. She’s surprised that that is the detail that Rey has decided to fixate on.

“You were nine years old,” she says, “and he made you kill people.” Kimiya can’t contain her surprise that Rey considers Snoke completely responsible for Kimiya’s actions.

“I could have told him no,” Kimiya says, echoing Rey's earlier sentiment. She realized long ago that she could have refused him. He would have kept her, or he wouldn’t have. But Kimiya should have told him that she wouldn’t do it. The realization came much too late to for her to change anything, though. She will defend her choice to join him, to escape her home, but Kimiya will never defend her actions that day.

“You did awful things but, I-I think that I might have done them too,” she whispers, sounding terrified by the prospect.

“We’re the same,” Kimiya says, softly. It’s almost comforting, to know that there’s a universe where Kimiya became a hero. It must be terrifying for Rey, to know that there’s a universe where she became a villain.

“I should take you to the Supreme Leader,” Kimiya says. She knows that she should, but there’s no part that wants to. Rey rolls her eyes. She doesn’t believe that Kimiya will any more than Kimiya does.

“You wouldn’t,” Rey tells her, and Kimiya knows that she's right. Perhaps it’s sheer narcissism that has led her to care for the girl, but she does. Kimiya cares about Rey. And that’s a dangerous thing.

“I wouldn’t,” Kimiya admits. But she knows that the only way that she could stop herself was if Rey were to escape. The only way that could happen was if Rey escaped the way that she came.

“Rey,” Kimiya says, “you need to meditate again.”

“What?” Rey asks.

“You have to do what you did to get here,” Kimiya explains, “so that you can escape.”

“Oh,” Rey says, realization dawning on her. She immediately sits down on the dirty, metal ground. Kimiya sits down beside her, and Rey starts to meditate. Rey takes her hand and links their fingers together. Kimiya backs away, startled by the contact.

“Sorry,” Rey says quickly, “I just- it’s an impulse.” She’s blushing bright red.

“No,” Kimiya says, “it’s fine.” She takes Rey’s hand gently, and the two intertwine their fingers. Kimiya starts to meditate. She can feels Rey’s hand in hers, warm and stable, and it makes it difficult to loose herself. She doesn’t think that she wants to loose herself. She tries to focus on the feeling of Rey’s hand, and the sound of the other girl’s heartbeat. Her light energy shines like a beacon when Kimiya closes her eyes and focuses on it, and Kimiya chooses to focus solely on these three things. She focuses on everything that Rey is, because she knows that soon enough the girl will be gone forever. This is the first time that she has found meditation relaxing or tranquil.

 

It goes on for what seems like both forever and an instant. Rey fades away as quickly as she’d come. One moment Kimiya can feel her hand, and the next it melts away like a dissipating dream. It feels bittersweet to Kimiya. Bitter, because Rey will be gone forever now. She can never see her again, never talk to this girl that took the time to understand her, that was as much a hero as Kimiya is a villain. But sweet because Rey has been sparred Kimiya’s fate.

 

“May the force be with you, Rey,” Kimiya tells the empty room. The empty room does not respond, and Kimiya breathes a sigh of relief. Rey is gone, hopefully safe in her own world. Hopefully the horrors of Kimiya’s world will not haunt her, because Rey gave her hope. Rey reminded her that she could be a hero too.

**Author's Note:**

> Title from "The Road Not Taken" by Robert Frost


End file.
